Reasons Mommy’s Crying.

• Child got nosebleed. Happened to be lying FACE DOWN ON WHITE UPHOLSTERED SOFA at time of incident. Facepalm. Queue big, fat, design-OCD-cry-me-a-river tears.
• No wine. (Obviously tears are necessary. Don’t judge.)
• Autumn Calabrese and her stupid 21 Day Fix workouts. Fuck you, Autumn, and your beautiful muffin-less midsection.
• Juggling 14 things on way out to car in the morning, and what is the one thing that drops? Nope, not the sweater for the chilly-as-f*$K office. Not the keys. Not the envelope going to the mailbox. Obviously, THE COFFEE. i.e. lifeblood.
• Just realized: miscalculated remaining vacation days.
• Went out of way on drive home from work to get Panera, because it’s fall, and I have Autumn Squash Soup goals. (You know you relate.) Panera out of Autumn Squash Soup. Defeated and hungry, I cry in my car, in the parking lot.
• Accidentally deleted my Pinterest recipe board.
• Accidentally deleted my RHOC recordings.
• Woke child up mid-nap. Packed family in car. Drove 25 minutes to birthday party. Realized, once sitting in their driveway, party is not today. It’s tomorrow.
• Pulled out 2 grey hairs in one day.
• Wearing Fitbit. Spent whole day taking stairs instead of elevator. Felt super proud of myself. Then realized Fitbit battery dead. Did not capture any of my activity. Feel like failure. Obviously none of stair climbing counts now if I can’t rub data in hubby’s face.

Go ahead. You know you want to. What do you cry about? Do tell.