It Ain’t New York
Every day, handfuls of New Yorkers type search queries into Google pertaining to “leaving New York.” Many of these escape artists find their way to this here blog, started by a real, live New Yorker who put those same search queries into Google four years ago and turned up far fewer answers or resources.
I started this blog because no one had started it before me. And I knew we couldn’t be the only New Yorkers fed up with the rat race, and open to finding greener, more cost effective pastures.
That’s the back story.
The current story is about the question I get asked the most, even now — four years after escaping: “But don’t you miss New York?” The answer is a resounding NO. We left because we were ready to leave. And we didn’t move to the Triangle to find a replacement New York. There is no replacement New York. We moved to North Carolina because we were ready for something different and decidedly better for our family than the New York Metro area could offer.
So if you’re contemplating a move somewhere, but all you find yourself doing is comparing ‘somewhere’ to where you already are, my advice to you is, maybe you’re just not ready.
Life — in all aspects — is about compromise. You have to be okay with giving up some things to gain others.
You might have to give up 24-hour bodegas on every corner. Or living within a stone’s throw of a Zara, or the MoMA, or the Hudson River. You might have to give up the grit and the grime and the noise pollution and the price gouging, and being the first on the planet to know what a cronut or a ramen burger tastes like. You might have to give up your steep tax bill, or your building maintenance fees which are higher than most peoples’ mortgages. You might have to give up that fancy job in midtown that takes you 75 minutes to get to even though you live 1.2 miles away. You might have to give up $17 cocktails served in champagne flutes. You might have to give up The Hamptons. The Catskills. LaGuardia Airport. Gasp.
But if you’re ready to leave New York, and you’re exploring locales, try asking yourself, rather than what you’re giving up, what you’re gaining. That is the million dollar question. Better quality of life, maybe. Or temperate climates. Or cheaper real estate. Or different culture. Or less stressful work life. Or more time with family.
Or maybe you’d gain perspective. The perspective you lost when you became a New Yorker — perspective on happiness and life and commerce and opportunity and culture that exists outside the bubble. See, New Yorkers tend to think so much starts and stops at the Holland Tunnel. But it’s just not the case. There are smart, well-educated, career-minded people leaning in all over the country. Every metropolitan area in the United States features company headquarters, agencies, banks, law firms, retail stores, amazing restaurants. You name it, you got it.
I imagine contemplating a move from anywhere you have a love/hate relationship with is a little like tearing a Band-Aid off. You know it might hurt temporarily, but it’s gotta come off. It can’t stay there forever. It’s better in the long run to let it breath…
